Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
