Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
