So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
