Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
