thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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