forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
