carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Im part way to drunk.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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