Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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