I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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