I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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