but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
