So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
