Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
false alarm, still single
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