Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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