He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
