i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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