Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
