He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
