There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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