Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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