I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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