He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
