3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
