I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just had sex on a roof
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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