She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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