maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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