Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
