hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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