i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
