i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
