last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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