I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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