I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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