He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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