i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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