if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
