Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
