all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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