Non-Jews are for practice
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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