...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
