He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
