Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
