I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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