It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize