What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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