3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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