Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
