I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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