I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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