Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
