he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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