Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How come twittering sounds sexual?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of Bambi.

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  (609): How come twittering sounds sexual? (267): Because of Bambi. http://tfl.nu/cgx2
  Replies (7) Good night (1556) Bad night (643)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7594) Bad night (991)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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  (617): he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant (617): then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him. http://tfl.nu/q2li
  Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (3735)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.

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  (314): I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis. http://tfl.nu/ymag
  Replies (16) Good night (4977) Bad night (605)
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  (925): View more from California

  I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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  (925): I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible. http://tfl.nu/f1y0
  Replies (7) Good night (3898) Bad night (849)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?

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  (404): we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition? http://tfl.nu/nsp8
  Replies (8) Good night (5842) Bad night (985)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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  (513): I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out? http://tfl.nu/sosx
  Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (1145)
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  (707): View more from California

  i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.

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  (707): i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses. http://tfl.nu/z8lp
  Replies (2) Good night (1878) Bad night (541)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem

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  (330): Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem http://tfl.nu/va1i
  Replies (10) Good night (1610) Bad night (641)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008

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  (808): They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call (906): Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008 http://tfl.nu/rt6t
  Replies (1) Good night (1389) Bad night (561)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

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  (207): Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck. http://tfl.nu/rwsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (945)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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  (952): You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans. http://tfl.nu/wpte
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (400)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something

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  (203): wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something http://tfl.nu/kee0
  Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (419)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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  (830): Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true. http://tfl.nu/sjks
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (379)
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  (315): View more from New York

  dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird

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  (315): dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird http://tfl.nu/6em9
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (183)

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