i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️