we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
