went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.