my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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