Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?