i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college