You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
