apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
