Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

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  (609): WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/kof5
  Replies (32) Good night (6754) Bad night (879)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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  (985): And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair http://tfl.nu/0fee
  Replies (16) Good night (6405) Bad night (914)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

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  (914): i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue http://tfl.nu/qbgw
  Replies (26) Good night (4834) Bad night (857)
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  (619): View more from California

  I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got

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  (619): I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got http://tfl.nu/io78
  Replies (20) Good night (1342) Bad night (4157)
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  (607): View more from New York

  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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  (607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su
  Replies (7) Good night (2989) Bad night (860)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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  (778): I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/znuq
  Replies (18) Good night (4475) Bad night (862)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.

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  (207): I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside. http://tfl.nu/x4yl
  Replies (5) Good night (1658) Bad night (883)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (603)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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  (734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy
  Replies (3) Good night (1459) Bad night (735)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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  (303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (1283)
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  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (835)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
  Replies (18) Good night (551) Bad night (3085)
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  (925): View more from California

  also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

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  (925): also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/lamp
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (536)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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  (724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1573) Bad night (554)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm

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  (813): He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm http://tfl.nu/b6iz
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (558)

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