some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
