He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she pinky promised me she was 18
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
