I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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