i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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