I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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