Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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