Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Text me some of your sweat
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