Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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