remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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