So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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