Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
