I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
